Swallowing Razors - Bones FanFiction

[doc_3]

Title: Swallowing Razors
Author: Doc_3
Pairing: B/Bish
Rating: PG
Spoilers: Anything up to this week’s ep is fair game
Summary: II of II of missing scene ficlets from Con Man in the Meth Lab. This one is shorter than Part I, but something I had to add.  Takes into account events of Part I.

Part I Here

 

II.

“My dad drank.”

Three tiny little words but they loomed large there between them; both of them realizing the moment was bigger than sharing a piece of cake neither tasted, but neither of them willing to acknowledge it.

Once, a lifetime ago, she hadn’t known how to give and receive comfort. He taught her that; he gave her the words, showed her the simple touch. Angela had told her long ago that sometimes the pressure of a friend’s hand meant more than words, but Booth had shown her.

Swallowing icing that felt like sawdust in her mouth, she spoke, “Did he… was he physically abusive, Booth?”

There was no hesitation in his answer, as if he’d been anticipating the question.

“Sometimes. Mostly it was a lot of yelling and throwing things. He lost a lot of friends in the war, a lot of buddies never made it home from Vietnam.”

“Booth, that’s not …”

“It’s not an excuse, Bones, just the truth. He was like a lot men that went over there – just not the same when he came back. He couldn’t control his temper when he drank, so I just stayed out of his way.”

She really wanted to put a hand on his arm but felt she hadn’t earned back the right – even with her heartfelt birthday toast.

“What about Jared?”

“Let’s just say he didn’t always make the smartest moves when it came to staying out of trouble – just like now.”

He leaned back with a sigh. “I don’t know Bones, I mean, they say alcoholism is genetic, and looking at Jared sometimes I wonder. It scares me to think about what I might be handing down to my son.”

This time she didn’t fight the urge to shift her body to face him, reaching over with her left hand to grab his forearm.

“Booth, no. Absolutely not. There is no concrete evidence that addictive behavior is genetic. Yes, some studies support the theory but it is not absolute.”

“Alcoholic, gambler – an addiction is an addiction, Bones.”

“Former gambler, Booth – there is a difference. You recognized you were repeating a destructive behavior and you stopped. Parker can be proud that you took control of your situation – nothing at all like your father or your brother.”

He didn’t meet her eyes, just stared at her hand gripping his arm. With his right hand he reached over and loosened her fingers, prying them away and them taking them lightly in his.

Glancing up, he fought the words that came unbidden to his lips.

“As long as it takes,” was what he’d told Cam, and he wasn’t exactly sure what it was he thought would take so long. His courage catching up with his heart – perhaps. A sign from her that he wasn’t in this alone – the look in her eyes said that wait could be short. Whatever it was he was waiting for, he knew he’d know when the wait was over.

The words in his heart were tamped down and he gave her a half smile and rose still holding her hand. “C’mon Bones, let’s join the party. They’ll have eaten all of my cake.”

She stood a little awkwardly, her center of gravity off with one arm out of commission, and he retained his grip on her hand until she was steady. For one beat longer than absolutely necessary, then he let her fingers slip from his.

Turning to go inside, he stopped at her voice.

“Wait, Booth. Your present.”

Glancing back he watched her fumble a little then pulled a long white envelope from her sling. She handed it to him with her lip snared between her teeth.

“What’s this? I thought that speech was my birthday present, you know - about me being better than plumage or baubles.”

She rolled her eyes and said, “Just open it.”

He pulled what appeared to be airline tickets from the envelope and stared at them.

“Bones? Tell me these aren’t …”

“Two tickets to Honolulu. For you and Parker – I got open dates because I didn’t know when he would have a vacation from school. I called Rebecca this morning and she said it was okay.”

“Bones – these are first class – I can’t…” he tried to hand them back to her but she put her good arm behind her back, refusing to accept them.

“You can. You deserve this, and I know you’ll enjoy it more if you can share it with Parker. You are a good father, Booth.”

Overwhelmed by what he felt for her at that moment, he could only grin. Maybe ‘as long as it takes’ wouldn’t be so long after all.

End Part II

A/N: I’m sure that some of you were hoping for a more B&B romantic ending, but I think this is where we are right now and I’m okay with that. I love that this dance of theirs is bringing them closer together every week. Thanks for reading!

Comments

[tempertemper.livejournal.com]

It’s not an excuse, Bones, just the truth. He was like a lot men that went over there – just not the same when he came back.

Gosh, that really got to me - as did Booth comparing his gambling addiction with his father's alcoholism and wondering (fearing) what he might be passing on to Parker.

I adore that you had Brennan buy him the tickets for Hawaii - that feels so right.

[doc-3.livejournal.com]

I was so mad when he threw the Hawaii brochures in the trash - I had to do something!

I'd love to give the writers the credit of thinking through this so thoroughly that the whole gambling addiction/alcoholism thing with Booth and Jared was planned, but ...

Glad this one played out okay for you - Happy US Bones Day!

[iam-space.livejournal.com]

Yes, the shipper in me wanted them to kiss and fly to Hawaii immediately, but as always, your way is better. ;)
(I'm totally picturing Booth and Parker frolicking on the beach though and it's making me quite happy! lol)
Thought this was a really great continuation, hon... and I really do like how you advanced them just as on the show, a little at a time and it feels so right.
Thx for sharing!
~S

[doc-3.livejournal.com]

Well, believe me, the shipper in me was dying for the same thing but I had to resist :)

I would love to advance them just a little faster on the show, but I'll take what we get. I like that they seem to be circling the point but getting closer each week.

I'm so glad you enjoyed!

[only-more-love.livejournal.com]

Once, a lifetime ago, she hadn’t known how to give and receive comfort. He taught her that; he gave her the words, showed her the simple touch. Angela had told her long ago that sometimes the pressure of a friend’s hand meant more than words, but Booth had shown her.

I like this acknowledgment of how instrumental both Booth and Angela have helped her relax and reach out to other people.

“It’s not an excuse, Bones, just the truth. He was like a lot men that went over there – just not the same when he came back. He couldn’t control his temper when he drank, so I just stayed out of his way.”

Yes. This is exactly how I see Booth seeing his father -- not hating him or demonizing him, but recognizing the truth of what he said to Brennan so long ago: "People can be more than one thing."

“I don’t know Bones, I mean, they say alcoholism is genetic, and looking at Jared sometimes I wonder. It scares me to think about what I might be handing down to my son.”

Yes to this, too. Of course parents worry about what they're passing on to their kids, whether it's alcoholism, depression, a tendency to put on weight, etc. I'm sure Booth has considered this when it comes to Parker.

The tickets to Honolulu are just the perfect gift here -- and a wonderful note on which to end this fic. :)

I think for this moment, in this story, the way you ended it is just right. Something more "B&B romantic" wouldn't have fit. And if it ain't broke, why fix it? *g*

Thanks for sharing a delightful fic, my dear. It was a pleasure to read.

[doc-3.livejournal.com]

Thanks for taking so much time with your comments - they really were super special. I admit to being really nervous about this part - mostly because I was afraid the ending would disappoint. So thrilled that it didn't!

XXOO

[labsquint.livejournal.com]

I really liked how you handled this scene. This in particular really showed the importance of Booth opening up to Brennan on such an important topic: ‘both of them realizing the moment was bigger than sharing a piece of cake neither tasted, but neither of them willing to acknowledge it.’

I found Brennan’s instant reaction, one that struck me as fear for a much younger Booth, very touching.

Booth is also very right to be afraid for what he might pass down to Parker. He believes that the tendency to addiction is genetic, and his father and brother are alcoholics and he’s a recovering gambler. Addiction is strong in the Booth men and he would never want to see Parker struggle as he has struggled. But how wonderful that Brennan will do whatever she can to convince Booth that his son's future is not already decided for him, and at the same time to remind Booth about how successful he has been in controlling his own addiction.

But best of all is Brennan’s present. What a wonderful and thoughtful gift to not only give Booth the trip that he so badly wanted to take, but to give him the chance to experience it with his son. No matter what they are becoming, what a very, very good friend she is now. And especially after last night’s episode, with Booth stuck in coach, how wonderful that they are even first class tickets.

And her gift seems to have marked a moment of mental shift for Booth: ‘Overwhelmed by what he felt for her at that moment, he could only grin. Maybe ‘as long as it takes’ wouldn’t be so long after all.’ What great promise you leave us with...

Thanks for filling in the blanks for us on this episode, not once, but twice! I very much enjoyed them!

[doc-3.livejournal.com]

I found Brennan’s instant reaction, one that struck me as fear for a much younger Booth, very touching.

Thanks, this was a part I really struggled with. She is sometimes a little devoid of real emotion, but after her scene with Jared in the bar I think we saw her emotions come to the surface very quickly, so I felt comfortable that this could happen this way. While she is often insensitive, I think she does understand the bond between Booth and his son.

Him losing out on his trip to Hawaii drove me mad, I just couldn't stand that he wasn't going. This was, more than anything else, a way to make myself feel better :)

Thanks for your fantastic comments as always *hugs*

[makd.livejournal.com]

Lovely fic. thanks for writing this and sharing it.

(I really think CMiaML should've been about 5 minutes longer to allow more "stuff" to come through.....

[doc-3.livejournal.com]

I totally agree that there should have been just one more scene to this ep. I'm so glad you enjoyed my take on it.

[hoodie622.livejournal.com]

This is wonderful! I love #2 with Cam. Booth/Cam friendship is so great. I was glad to see that at the end of season 4 and beginning of season 5, they started to use it more.

Nicely done!

[doc-3.livejournal.com]

I love Cam and Booth friendship as well. I really love Cam's character and what it brings to the B/B dynamic at times. Her history with Booth actually adds to it, you know?

[hoodie622.livejournal.com]

Yes. Their history does add to B/B. Cam and Brennan understand him in different ways, and even though he is in love with Brennan (as it should be) it's great for Booth to have another person who is much more "normal" who knows him as well. :)

[persephone33.livejournal.com]

Just lovely. A realistic ending to the episode.

[doc-3.livejournal.com]

Thanks so much! I just felt like there was something more to be said here.

[dianeb-047.livejournal.com]

Nicely done. I wish they had done something like this on the show, but if they had, then I wouldn't be able to applaud you for coming up with it.

She handed it to him with her lip snared between her teeth.

It's this kind of style that makes your writing such a joy to read. I can literally *see* this image of Bones in my head. Your use of words is phenomenally right on.

[doc-3.livejournal.com]

Interesting thought: we can thank the show writers for leaving bits out so the rest of us can write fics. Hmmm...

I'm so glad you thought this image was easy to "see" - it was very clear in my mind but that doesn't always translate.

Glad you enjoyed!

[dianeb-047.livejournal.com]

Are you kidding? That's where all the really good fanfic comes from: either from the stuff that ended up on the cutting room floor, or was never shot in the first place.

And narrative, wow, narrative's where fanfic really shines, because television can't include what's going on inside someone's head. Heck, a person can write 3,000 words just on what Booth might be thinking about one little comment Bones might've made. Can't do that on tv.

This is why I adore the good fic, which yours is.

[doc-3.livejournal.com]

Getting inside a character's head is the best part about fic, I think. I love to read what other people think a character was thinking :)

[dianeb-047.livejournal.com]

Exactly! Even the bad fic can sometimes contain elements of goodness, if it happens to properly get into the head of one of the characters.

[cupcakebean.livejournal.com]

These were both so lovely. I'm such a sucker for Booth/Cam friendship, especially since Cam seems to be a shipper now. You writing is outstanding and completely in character. Well done!

Mind if I friend you? Don't want to miss out on any new fics! =)

[doc-3.livejournal.com]

I love that Cam is a shipper now. It means more coming from her since she knows Booth so well, and they have a romantic history. Cam is really turning into one of my favorite characters.

Friend away! Although I haven't written much lately, one never knows when inspiration will strike!

[cathmarchr.livejournal.com]

"I don’t know Bones, I mean, they say alcoholism is genetic, and looking at Jared sometimes I wonder. It scares me to think about what I might be handing down to my son."

You know, I've thought a lot about addiction running in the Booth family -- from Sr. to Booth and Jared, but it never occurred to me that the line continued to Parker. And of course Booth would torture himself about that.

This was a great fic. I especially enjoyed your AN at the end here, when you said, "I’m sure that some of you were hoping for a more B&B romantic ending, but I think this is where we are right now and I’m okay with that." Me, too. This ending was really organic and made perfect sense.

<3

[doc-3.livejournal.com]

Thanks, I really felt this was a good place for this story to end and it left (hopefully) a good feeling of hope there at the end.

I'm so glad you enjoyed it.